My favorite communication from Jeshua, given a few months back. He is a constant blessing in my life beyond measure. I was working with karma and forgiveness at the time:

Forgiveness is a way of letting go of the past, of cutting the roots out of the tree of karma. Please don’t forget the perspective from the ultimate and non-dual level. Forgiveness is the discharge of a nonexistent debt. Karma is an illusion, it is simply energy, love and light fixed in place by beliefs, judgments, fear and greed. Karma makes the world go around, but we are really living in a world of illusion. On the mundane level, actions have consequences. On the ultimate level, you can see through these movements and come to the deep perfection of the one, and it’s myriad forms. This is the “forgiveness” I wished to teach, but folks weren’t ready. Instead, I had to speak in riddles, and allow those who knew to nod their heads knowingly. Others were left to puzzle through “turn the other cheek,” and “pray for those who persecute you.” Look at a point in my life when I forgave: “Forgive them father for they know not what they do.” I appealed to the heavenly father within me, because that is who forgives. The ego cannot. Because I knew no separation with the father, I was able to say such a thing.

All the above is about enhancing your connection with your essence, with our essence, with the essence. “Only God heals,” but I say to you “only God forgives” also.

And a second quote, from a guide who did not give a name:

(Please teach me about forgiveness) Forgiveness is a way of dealing with the past, for people who are stuck in the past. Horrific amounts of terrible situations tend to become lodged in the body and mind. If there are ignored or swept under the rug, they become pernicious, causing you problems. Forgiveness is a very direct way to address old habits and negativity without contributing further grasping energy. Some situations and states of mind are more compelling and “sticky” than others, and much psychic pain can result. Part of the power of forgiveness is the ability to say “it is done.” This is a recognition of the world as it is. Situations are always temporary – to the extent that such a recognition is embraced, powerful realizations can result.

My last post was more about asking questions than answers. So instead of answering those questions, let’s intensify the question in the hopes of finding further clarity.

Jesus addressed the subject in the Sermon on the Mount, but what he says is truly baffling, even with over 2000 years of tradition attempting to explain it. How can we make sense of what he says? This is Matthew 5:38-45, in the NIV:

³⁸ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ ³⁹ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. ⁴⁰ And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. ⁴¹ If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. ⁴² Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ that you may be children of your Father in heaven.

The “natural” reaction to injury or injustice was codified in ancient Hebrew law. “Eye for eye, tooth for tooth” is a simple restatement of Exodus 21:24. But Jesus offers another, deliberately provocative code of ethics. Let mean people slap me twice? Pray for those who persecute you? Let someone who is suing me take more? In Roman times, officials could force people to carry official notices or documents. Instead of going as far as necessary, go a bit extra? Give to the one who asks you, just because they asked? Jesus is deliberately going against our long-held ideas of self-preservation, of appropriate boundaries. Is he exaggerating to make a point? What is his point? In fact, these sayings by design make no sense to the small, egoic self. What comes next seems quite logical, but is still perplexing. Here are verses 45-48:

He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. ⁴⁶ If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? ⁴⁷ And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? ⁴⁸ Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

People find themselves in situations both good and bad regardless of their moral character. We often cannot control our outward situation, any more than we can affect the weather or the rotation of the Earth. Our reaction to our situation, even when unpleasant and difficult, is what is important. The “reward” Jesus talks about here I believe is karmic. There is little to no karmic value in loving those who love you. The real karmic payoff is in loving those who hate you, and in reacting open-heartedly in difficult situations. But why the seemingly impossible command to “be perfect” by becoming like God? How does that follow? Loving those who hate you is a tall order!

We have to look beyond the perspective of the small self to understand the code Jesus uses. Jesus deeply knew his connection to the divine, to his essence, to the unborn, undying, and unconditioned. He called this divinity his Heavenly Father. From this perspective, generosity makes no sense – there is no self, no other, no giver, no receiver, everything is One. Yet Jesus also was born of a physical, flesh and blood mother. He had deep roots in both planes of existence, the conditioned, mundane, physical world, and the unconditioned, divine, supramundane world. Yet as a fully enlightened being he knew the non-separation of the human and the divine. Both are manifestations of the One. We too can be in this place of non-duality, of moving our perception with effortless ease between heaven and earth, seeing both. This awareness is what he means when he talks about being “children of your Father in Heaven.” Jesus comes from a place of deep interconnection, where self and other are one. But he also deeply understands the illusory separation of self and other. We can learn to live from this perspective also. This is the “perfection” of the heavenly Father.

• Let’s go back to these difficult sayings about generosity, and look at them from the perspective of a child of the Heavenly Father. To review from my last post, generosity is giving freely and with wholesome intent a gift that is valuable but unearned. Each of these sayings has an aggressor initially taking something from you, causing you pain, or coercing you: taking your shirt, slapping you, persecuting you, making you deliver mail. But then you offer more of what they have taken. So now, instead of them simply taking more, by not resisting, you are freely giving them a gift. That gift clearly has value – the aggressor demonstrated that value by taking it from you in the first place. That gift is also unearned, because the aggressor’s actions are clearly unjust. Just one more condition is left for your actions to qualify as being generous. You, as a child of the Heavenly Father, must be able to give what is needed to the evil person, or your persecutor, or the coercive mailman with wholesome intent. But how can our intent be pure in such a difficult situation? Is this even possible?

From the right perspective, yes, it is. Jeshua knows himself as the one out of which both self and other arise. This perspective allows him to see through the illusory (but still painful) roles of victim and aggressor into the deepest needs of the human condition. This perspective offers a more nuanced and balanced view. The situations in these sayings are unpleasant, painful, or inconvenient for the would-be victim, but none are life-threatening. From a wider perspective, offering what the aggressor wants might be a balanced, wholesome reaction to the situation.

Of more immediate importance are the benefits to the giver. For a person consciously on the spiritual path, generosity upends the ego’s normal habits and perspective. If you can remain openhearted and generous even in a difficult situation, you might prevent further unwholesome karmic consequences from your reaction. You might also find the space and light to respond more creatively and appropriately. If you can turn the other cheek with these truths in mind, your intent is wholesome. Through your generosity, you benefit yourself, you benefit your persecutor, and you begin to understand that you are no different from them. You both are acting in a play on a stage. Eventually, with repeated giving from the open heart, you truly become a child of the Heavenly Father. Generosity rightly understood is a need of the spiritual aspirant, something that leads to happiness, both relatively and ultimately. From that perspective, giving sometimes is the sanest, most appropriate response, even in difficult situations.

When the ego is less involved in any particular situation, even difficult ones, then we can:

1. Before we act, assess the needs of all parties involved – self and others;
2. Act freely, creatively, and appropriately, and
3. Not be attached to any particular outcome, but instead tend to the consequences of our act.

Living up to the provocative ideals expressed in the Sermon on the Mount is a difficult task. Perhaps our attitude needs to be closer to the Buddha’s five precepts for laypeople. They all start with the formula, depending on the translation “For the sake of training, I undertake the precept to…” This is a beautiful way of saying “I will try, to the best of my ability, because it is good for me.”

Aaron offered a beautiful guided imagination/meditation on generosity in our last class. Let me give you an excerpt:

We are walking in a beautiful park. You have spent the morning walking, walking through Paris, your first time there. Seeing the sights, visiting museums. In your purse, a small lunch—an apple, a croissant, a bit of cheese. Now you are hungry and you sit on a bench. In front of you flows the river; to one side of you, a beautiful cathedral. There is awe and joy at these beautiful sights and this lovely autumn day.
You pull out your cheese and your apple, and almost immediately a very skinny, dirty child appears; big eyes, looking at you, beseeching. Holding her hands out. You don’t speak French, not clear what she’s saying, but your heart knows she’s asking for food.
There may be an immediate easy impulse to offer her the food. You can purchase more; you have money. There may be a subtle contraction, “My food. My meal.” Looking around, “I don’t see a food vendor anywhere in sight.” Maybe then a judgment, “I should give it to her.” Again, another contraction. “I should.”
Take your little paring knife and cut a slice of apple. Invite her to sit on the bench beside you and give her the slice of apple, and a slice for you. Allow yourself to feel her joy as she eats this very juicy slice of apple, finding there the self that is innately generous and openhearted. If a stingy or self-centered thought arises, don’t get caught up in it, just note it as thought, “self-centered thought, fear-based thought,” and let it be. Return immediately to this loving, open heart, to the joy of giving. Mudita; joy for others.  Return to the part of you that can give so spontaneously. In this way, keep offering her pieces of your apple and cheese and bread, eating of it yourself also, to whatever degree feels appropriate. You may give her half, or you may give her nine tenths of it, or one tenth. There’s no right or wrong, here.
I want you to find the place in yourself that is openheartedly generous and deeply caring for the welfare of others, and know, “I am that, beyond any conditioned thoughts that may arise, any judging thoughts. I am that generosity and love. I am that.” Can you rest in that, “I am that,” with some degree of comfort and ease?

Aaron gives us an excellent thought experiment, showing how compassion, mudita, and other manifestations of the open heart can naturally flow from the practice of generosity. Importantly, he also shows where this flow can be blocked, by stinginess or self-centeredness. Both openness and contraction can be there at the same time – is it possible to identify with the Big Mind/Big Heart and give freely, while not denying or trying to change that which obstructs?

Let me take a stab at defining generosity. Three main components need to be present. The gift must be something of value that was not earned by the receiver, the gift needs to be given freely, and the giving needs to be done with a wholesome intent. If the thing has no value, than what is the point? If the gift was earned, it was an economic transaction. If you are coerced into giving, then you are not being generous. If you are giving for selfish reasons, or with a hidden agenda, then few benefits from generosity will arise.

I would like to revisit Aaron’s guided meditation. I very rarely encounter dirty, hungry homeless children, and I haven’t been to Paris in 25 years, but my imagination of such an encounter has a slightly different twist:

We are on the park bench, eating lunch. The dirty child appears, obviously hungry. You give her food, and ask her to sit with you. She does, and eats the food. As you are eating, paying attention to her, and mindfully noticing your reactions to the situation, she points behind you and looks agitated. You turn, turn back, and your purse with the food in it is gone. The child is running away, now too far away to catch easily. She stops at the border to a wooded area, and gives you the finger as she disappears. Most of your important documents are back at the hotel, but the purse, the food, and maybe $10 is gone. You realize that the child still was obviously hungry, and by feeding her you were addressing a real need. You would’ve probably given the money to her at the end of the meal anyhow. She was simply not able or willing to give you the warm fuzzy feeling of being grateful for her lunch. You are not truly harmed in any real way by the theft.

How do you react? Can you stay openhearted and generous instead of becoming a victim or a martyr? Can you become mindful of the contraction in your physical body and in your mind and heart? What might an appropriate inward response to this situation be, that allows you to identify with the essence of your being, while not denying the reality of the experience?

Let’s examine some real world examples. The guy with the sign on the corner as you are driving by. If you give money to the guy, you don’t know how it is going to be used. Can you give freely in the face of uncertainty? What conditions would need to be present for you to give?

Here is another. Your children aren’t grateful for the time and effort you are giving them. They aren’t small and cute and cuddly any more, they are teenagers. They want to be fed, and they want to be fed now. How can you give them dinner with an open heart?

One more, this time more personal. When I adopted my son John from the Ukraine, I had the opportunity to visit several orphanages, run by the state. At one, I had a bag of hard candy, and I sat in the middle of the playground, handing out candy to the kids. It was very gratifying at the time. Now that I know more, I realize I was playing into something pathological. The kids were hungry, and I was feeding them not food but edible garbage that would just make them hungrier after the sugar rush and the insulin spike. I also was unknowingly contributing to a nasty little social habit. Children growing up in orphanages often will shun intimate relationships with caregivers that constantly change. Instead, they learn to shower love and affection on complete strangers, because they might get adopted sooner if they do so. After my wife and I became John’s parents, we fully felt the unpleasant effects of that psychological dynamic, which western psychology calls attachment disorder. How do I feel about that memory? The intention in giving the candy at the time was clear and pure, but the results of my actions, combined with the actions of others like me caused pain and suffering. Does my ignorance of the unknowns in that situation make it OK somehow?

Because this is (based on) the real world, there are no easy answers to these questions. I cannot tie up everything into a nice neat bow and make it pretty for you, rhetorically or otherwise. Generosity usually meets with the resistance of the ego, so that the act will have both wholesome and unwholesome motivations inseparably swirling together. Once the act is completed, we cannot control the outcome, but we also cannot ignore the outcome. For better or worse, we always have a responsibility to tend to the consequences of our actions to the best of our limited abilities. In a very human way, we just have to muddle through as best we can.

Generosity, consistently practiced, is a way of broadening our perspective to encompass all affected parties, both self and other, when assessing the consequences of our actions. The broad perspective of the open heart is its own teacher, helping us moment-by-moment, in each situation, to react appropriately and impeccably.

What do you think? How can we be generous in real life? Start the conversation in the comments section below.